My inner child and I have never been separated. Hand in hand we have always stayed together, both have treaded on difficult paths through life; both have shared joy, homesickness and, hardships at family gatherings; have shared and understood each other’s sadness, happiness and death.  She knows that my family is not easy to get along with. When things become tiring for me and people get confusing or thorny with me then my inner sweetheart takes my hand and says, ‘Come on, you can do it,’ just like the little blue engine that could go up the hill.  And when Brother Death arrives at the door, she will be right there to take me on to further journeys. But there is one thing that has been different between us, she stayed a child in her world and I grew up on earth and became an adult. Not only did she stay as a child, but she stayed as loving spirit to the stars, the trees and, to the flowers and I took the chance of being born on the planet that we humans call Earth.

 Before I was as born, there was a time when we played, played on green hills, walked along the big infinite sea, talked endlessly of this and that. Picked wild flowers on moonlit nights and made flower crowns for the king and queen of Elderrein. Then came the day in which I was to be born and become one with my parents. But as I’ve said, my inner child and I were never to be separated and on all the treacherous humanity hills that I climbed on she has been my guide, my helping hand and, my best friend.

I had many hard times with my family. My father died when I was young. I had disabilities to go maintain and master but my inner child was always right there pushing me onward and upward. My inner one knew that I was good at five things, working with children, writing for children, singing to children, listening to children’s problems and loving the sound of music.  She made sure that these five things always stayed with me throughout my perplexing life and she saw to it that these good qualities became my strong gifts throughout my life. I did work with children for many years and came to understand their little ways. I did love writing endless letters and stories and am still writing my heart away. I sang and sang but never became the great singer but sang unending songs for the children I cared for. I listened to music and am still listening and letting the rapturous tones flow into the depths of my soul. My inner child is happy and so glad that writing has become my strongest point. She is always near me, guiding my hands, my heart and my brain to write the best verses and stories for children. She, my inner beauty child, wishes to pass on what is in her heart into my writing so that all children may see her world and learn to love it, too.

No… my lovely inner child never, ever wishes to departs from me and will always be my faithful inner muse.

However… there is some surprising news about her, my inner child and has she has taken the giant step into the human world. Because she wanted to be close to me and knew my earthly family and other members were not happy… she became my little adoring niece and my constant writing Muse, in the flesh. Another inner child has taken her place as my inner child, a child just like her.

‘Ice cream is both innocent and erotic,’ writes Klintron on Technoccult.com. ‘Coffee promises to be both stimulating and relaxing.’ These examples illustrate the idea of ‘paradessence,’ or paradoxical essence, which was developed by Alex Shakar in his novel The Savage Girl.  I suspect that you’ll specialize in paradessence in the coming days, Capricorn.

The questions:

Will that make you feel tormented by crazy-making contradictions or will it excite you with an expanding sense of complex possibilities? and

what situation makes you confused and uncertain?

Carol, I honestly didn’t quite get this but if the if the question is regarding but if the question is about ice cream here are answers:

Ice cream, Coffee.

 Addiction or Erotic?

Frankly, I don’t like ice cream. I know this may seem crazy but I once had it and it made me quite queasy. So, ever since this ice cream experience, I have had no quick desires to pop the delicacy into my mouth. Not even on hot, stifling days. If I get a dish of ice cream at a dinner party then I politely ask for the smallest amount, mush it up into soupy ice cream, then eat it and, later begin to feel fat and sick.

Many years ago on a sizzling humid day, my friends and I walked to Swensen’s Ice Cream store, located on Union and Hyde, and had an ice cream cone. I asked for ONLY one scoop but the man, behind the counter of the store, was exceedingly generous and gave me three large scoops tightly smushed together. I, being so young and shy, ate every morsel of it and felt so tremendously sick later. So… to make a long story short, this had become a true farewell to ice cream and no, I was never addicted or crazy in love with ice cream.

Does the sweet delicious taste of ice cream make me erotic in any way? No, I’m afraid not. Am I addicted to coffee? No. I will occasionally have a latté if I am at a Starbuck and if I happen to be there with my latest novel that I’m reading but no, I’m not addicted to thi dark liquid.

 Does it stimulator or relax my senses? Well, not really.

I used to drink it every morning for years. I was getting nasty headaches which never left my side, so I stopped drinking the hot beverage. I began drinking tea, black tea with milk and sugar. Now, this sweet ands gentle beverage truly delighted my taste buds.

Confused and Uncertain

I feel confused when people scream; when cars stop where they should not stop or go on driving and never stop; when bicycle ride on sidewalks when there are nice bike paths; when people walk by and bump into you and never say sorry or when you go out of their way and they never say thank you; when people smile and there is no reason to smile or frown when there is good reason to smile;

Uncertain? Yep, that’s a biggy. When I am trying to cross the street and some car zooms right by out of nowhere and never stop or when a bicycle never stops and goes right through a red light and killing us all. Or when a young youth trying to look nifty and cool upon his scooter but comes flying right in front of little me and we both end up screaming for dear life.