The
Telephone Conversation
You are
sitting in your apartment, surrounded by books and plants and sunshine and
three gorgeous fat cats, reading the last pages of a great Michael Moore book
called ‘Why?’ and you are just about to begin the new novel by Stephen King
called ‘Please…… love me, love me true.’ Suddenly your telephone begins ringing
wildly and the silence is broken. Your thoughts are saying,
ME
Oh, how truly
annoying… and right at the most interesting page.
So………
TELEPHONE
Ring… ring……………..
ME
Hello?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, hello is Amy there?
ME
Yes, this is Amy.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, hi. My name is Melody. I’m so glad to have caught you on
the phone.
ME
Who is this? Are you trying to sell me something because I’m
not interested in this at all?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, no! I’m sorry, I should tell you who this is, first.
I’ve had such a hard time getting you.
ME
Hey, honestly stop playing games with me and tell me WHO you
are and, why didn’t you just leave a message on my answering machine? I
normally do not answer the phone and I don’t know why I answered it anyway.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
I once did ring you, I believe it was yesterday, and did get
your answering machine but it was not YOUR voice. The answering machine has a
more metallic voice.
ME
Oh, so you know my voice.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, yes. Very well. It is a soft and gentle and human voice.
ME
Ahh….Who is this?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
I’m your guardian angel.
ME
My what? Are you trying to be a wise guy or something?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh no, I would never do such a thing! And I’m not trying to
be a wise guy, whatever that means. Oh, please, please don’t sound so angry
with me.
ME
OK, now who is this really? I don’t have time for this. Do
you want money or something? Because I’m
not giving you any.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
No, of course I don’t want your money!!! Oh, don’t you
believe in angels? The Queen said that you had such faith in angels and that
you loved them with all your heart!
ME
Yes, I believe in angels but I don’t believe in them calling
me on the phone like this. I don’t believe in holy things coming so mundanely
to me! So, cut the joke and tell me WHO you really are! I honestly do not
appreciate this sort of thing.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
The Queen did warn me about this, that you would be
difficult and think that I was being untruthful to you. But I am being honest,
I am telling you the truth! I am your guardian angel! I knew you when you came
to us, when you went down to earth to become a little girl, and then a woman. I
remember when you were a little girl and loved to sing and dance and how you
wanted to become a famous ballerina and dance with golden slippers until your
prince came and swept you away. I remember how you loved all your cats and would
never give them away and this drove your Mommy insane. I remember when you
saved one of your kitty’s lives and your Mommy thought it was already dead. I
remember you didn’t like school but you made two nice friends and their names
were Darby McFarly and Donna Smittly. I remember when you got older you liked
school and thought everybody should have a good education. I remember when you
worked with little children and they loved you. I remember when you worked with
handicapped children and could understand their thoughts and their feelings and
their emotions. And, I know you are writing stories for children who will one
day enjoy them. I know that you have a boy cat now…but before that you had a
pretty girl kitty and…………. before you had the pretty girl kitty you had another
boy cat which everybody hated because he was so naughty and scratched
everybody. Right? Everyone hated him because he bit everybody but you adored
him anyway and he was so good to you and loved only you. Right?
ME
Well…. what about my family? Do I have any?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
You have a mother. Your father died when you were little
girl. He was a filmmaker named Franco. You have a sister from you mother’s
second marriage. And you now have a beautiful little niece and she is a true
gift to your whole confusing family.
ME
Ah-ha….. I see. Well, what are the names of my family?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Your mothers name is Junetta but everyone calls her Jo .
Your sister’s name is Della. We know that your nieces name is Mia but her real
name is Fleur Miassa Blanca. Your mother has a beautiful golden retriever whose
name is Gus and he is fourteen month old and you adore him just like you adore
your niece.
ME:
Oh.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL:
See… I am right….aren’t I??
ME:
I see…ummmm. Do I have a pet… a cat or a dog?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
No, you don’t have a dog but you have a nice big boy cat
named Mr. Kitty. Before you had Mr. Kitty, you had Princess Twinkles and before
Princess Twinkles you had Sir Douglas. Both Douglas and Princess Twinkles were
pure white cats. But Mr. Kitty is gray and white… but his gray sides have two
different shades; light gray and dark gray and he has two brown spots on his
cheeks. He has a white stripe down his back and his tail looks like a raccoon’s
tail. He is a very handsome cat and you call him your lovey-dovy. Right? At one
time, you did look after your mothers other dog when he came out of the
hospital. He was also a beautiful golden retriever but his name was Jake. He
lived with you because you had no stairs and your mother had too many of stairs
at her house. He couldn’t climb any stairs.
ME
Oh… mmm, what am I doing now… working or playing hooky or
gallivanting around the town?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
You’re not working but you are writing stories for children
and you do a lot of other things. No, you are not playing hooky because you
don’t go to kids school and no, you are not gallivanting because you’re too shy
and it is not your style.
ME
I see, I see. Well, you do know quite a bit about me. Where
do I live and am I rich and fancy or poor and simple or fancy and poor or
simple and rich?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
You live very close to the San Francisco Bay and Golden Gate
Bridge in a little apartment. You are not rich but you are fancy…. even though
you don’t think so. You like pretty things and have nice taste.
ME
OK, do I like or hate music?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
You love music and your favorite music is classical but you
love listening to Russian Chants and Celtic Songs and Country Music and gentle
Rock n’Roll. Your favorite musicians are Mozart and Vivaldi and Beethoven but
you love Bach, Johnny Cash and, Sara McLaughlin and all the others. You love to
listen to the Horn Concerto by Mozart because it makes you think of these far
away places. And when you write, you listen to music because it gives you
inspiration. And you love the opera! But golden silence gives you inspiration,
too. Oh, I forgot, your real favorite is the Cello Concerto by Vivaldi because
it is so schmaltzy and wavy.
ME
Ahhh… last question. Do I have many friends?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Yes, in Switzerland, New York and in, New Jersey you have
the best friends but here, where you are now living, it’s hard. You invite
people over for tea or drinks but they always say ‘No, no’ or are just plain
grumps. You do have friends around your home who do live near your apartment
but it’s usually just a quick ‘Hello’ or ‘Goodbye’ or ‘How’s the weather?’ You
do have nice friends who go to your writing class. And some nice folks from the YMCA but only
for a quick-quick chat like, ‘How’s it going?’ or ‘ Man, got laid off at work,’
or ‘That’s a challenge!’ You do stop and have small talks with lots of
people you know but you love to come home to Mr. Kitty
and your green babies, the plants. You love your place and it loves you.
ME
Ok… so you’re my real guardian angel? I mean, my one and
only guardian angel?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Yep. I am your REAL guardian angel and no, not your one and
only. I am your very first and last angel. I mean your first, when you came to
us and ……..your last when you finally return back to us. I’m not your ONLY
angel, there are other’s. There is
Allegra, and Notaza and, Vendiano and Luciano. However, I am YOUR most
important angel.
ME
Oh. But… if you are my most important guardian angel why,
oh, why didn’t you ever call me before when I was truly lonely and sad, when I
had no friends, no friends to come see me on Christmas or Easter, no
Valentine’s sweetheart to give me flowers and a kiss? The phone never rang on
weekends or evenings, no one ever came to see me on Sundays for tea or brunch
or to go for a walk in the park. Not one friend ever thought of going to the
beach with me where I could see the waves dance in their pretty white dresses
or go to visit Mary Miley? Why didn’t
you ever come, Melody? I’m not so sad anymore, now. I’ve taught myself to get
by without having friends come by. My writing has kept me going and my
characters have all become my best and amused loyal friends. I have my lovely
aparment and darling, sweet Mr. Kitty, and, like you said, I love my pretty
apartment and my pretty apartment loves me. And hey, how come a guardian angel,
like you, so special and all, can have a simple chat on the telephone with me?
Eh?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, I’m sorry I couldn’t come before. But I was right there,
honestly, right by your side. When you cried, I would sing to you and Allegra
would play the piano and, Vendiano would play the violin. He played ever so
sweetly to you. He loves you so. We were
all there but it wasn’t our time.
ME
What do you mean ‘It
wasn’t your time?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
I mean, the Queen wouldn’t allow us to go, to see you, I
mean…… not just then.
ME
And… who is this Queen?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
She is the Queen of Diphda, the Queen of that star. Every
star has its own Queen.
ME
Oh…. And what about the King? Isn’t the King important, too?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Nope… it’s just the Queen. I mean, the King is important too
but not as important as the Queen. Kind of like your earthly game… chess?
ME
Ohh…. Strange.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
It is always the Queen who comes to see us. She told me that
now I could call you and tell you who I was, make myself known to you.
ME
Melody, am I going to die soon?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh no…. of course not! Why are asking me this silly
question?
ME
Well, when an angel appears to a person or comes to them on
the phone… it almost always means that the person is going to die soon.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, no, no, no. If you were to die then a different angel
would come to you. His name is Mordelus. Mordelus and his sister Mordiala only
come when people are very sick and ready to leave this world. But no, you are
healthy and will live a long time. Your little niece will want to know you and
talk to you. You’ll be reading her lots of stories. Oh no, you shall live for a
long time and every now and then I’ll talk to you on the phone. OK?
ME
Where are you calling from?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
From Diphda.
ME
Oh…. so far? It must cost a bundle of money!
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
No, we don’t have money, I mean, we don’t need money like
earthlings do. We have pebbles, different colored pebbles and they are called
the Telephone Pebbles. Everything is different here. Not so complicated as on
earth.
ME
Melody, how could you get to me if you were to come here?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, I could come in a twinkling of an eye. You see, our time
is not like your time.
ME
Oh…. Could you come to me for tea? Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaase?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, I would love to but I would have to ask the Queen.
ME
Where is she? Does she live on Diphda too?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
No, she lives on Stella di Venusa. I’ll call you back, OK.
ME
But when-----
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Soon.
ME
But----
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Gotta go! Love ya!
TELEPHONE
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep……………………… went the phone.
Five minutes later.
TELEPHONE
Brrrrriing.
ME
Hello?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh hi, it’s me, Melody.
ME
Oh good, that was fast.
So, can you come?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh yes, the Queen said that I could stay with you all day
tomorrow.
ME
Oh, that is wonderful!!!!!!!!
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
And the queen said that, if it’s OK with you, I could bring
Allegra, Notaza and Vendiano and Luciano.
ME
Of course, I would love to see them too!!
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Allegra will play the piano and both Notaza and Vendiano
will play the violin. I’ll sing, OK?
Luciano may sing, too if his throat is OK?
ME
Oh, but I don’t have a piano and violins.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
That’s OK. We can just whip them up.
ME
Oh, goody-goody, I’m so excited.
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Yeah…. me too!
ME
Wait… what do you look like?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
What to you want me to look like? Angels can change their
appearances, you know. I thought it would be nice if I came as a little girl
because you love children so much and you so adore your little niece and she is
a little girl!
ME
OK that’s absolutely great! What are you going to look like,
though? I mean, the dress and all that? Or will you be wearing pants?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
I’ll have long blond-brown hair, kind of wavy, in two pig
tails, bangs and lots of blue ribbons in my hair. I’ll have lots of freckles on
my nose and dimples in my cheeks. I smile a lot. I’ll have a blue dress on with
a white cardigan decorated with pale pink and baby blue roses on it. I’ll be
carrying a big pink bag full of goodies. I’ll wear my silver shoes with pink
sparkles on them and white ankle socks with little red and pink flowers on the
side. OK? Oh, and one more thing… I’ll
be coming on my own, the others will come later. OK?
ME
Oh, goody-goody, I can’t wait!!
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
OK, so that’s that.
ME
But wait. Don’t you want to know what I look like?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Oh, silly. I already know what you look like. I’m your
guardian angel.
ME
Why don’t you come as you are, as my angel?
GUARDIAN
ANGEL
Nope. Can’t to that. You would never be able to look me in
the eye. Well, gotta go. Bye
ME
But---------
TELEPHONE
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep……………………………
The next day bright and early, you hear a gentle knocking at
your door. You, because you are so excited, rush to open the door and…
To be continued ……………….